I feel like I failed God today. Most days I do fail God I am sure, but today I really blew it. There is an eighty-eight year old woman who comes into my store often with her daughter. This elderly lady is in the final throes of Alzheimerís disease and she does not even recognize her own daughter, or any other family or friends either.
However, every time she comes into the store with her daughter, she remembers me. And every time I see her, my spirit soars. And it makes no sense to her daughter. Her daughter told me recently that she does not understand why her mother never remembers anyone at all, but she always remembers me. I told her daughter that I guess her motherís spirit and my spirit must be pretty well in tune together.
The Holy Spirit quickened me today to give her a kiss. The store was fairly busy, her daughter was standing there, and what would everyone think. I can make all kinds of excuses, but bottom line is I did not give her a kiss. What a jerk I am. Was it really concern about what everyone would think, or just self-pride? I am still not sure.
Anyway, when she and her daughter were leaving, guess what this sweet spirited elderly lady did? She made kissing motions with her lips. So I bent down and she kissed me up and down the side of my face. I was blessed beyond description, however when she and her daughter left I went out to the back of the store and cried and cried. I really believe I just missed out on being a special blessing by not submitting to the Lord and giving her a kiss. I donít believe I will ever see her again. I feel like God is telling me she is going to His kingdom and this was the last thing I could ever give her. God was actually allowing me to give her a kiss to welcome her with love. Iím sorry God, and I am sorry dear sweet, kind spirit. Thank you for your kisses.
I try to be accessible Lord and submissive Lord, but when I do listen, which doesnít seem very often, it seems likes I donít obey. Please forgive me Lord, bless her forever more.